Ten Ways to Carry a Bag
Presenting the consecrated savior of make-upless faces!
But I’m guessing it won’t work if you have an appalling acne problem. These are just shades, you know, not God. Too bad for you.
(Haha my friend so cute la, she read my comment box for the first time and went, ‘Why people say you look like horse.’ to which I replied proudly, ‘Because my face is thin and beautifully sculptured.’ Then you know what she said???? ‘But your face quite fat wor.’ CHAO PO. I say I look like horse means I look like horse la! She then proceeded to say that horses are ugly. I irascibly shouted, ‘BUT HORSES LOOK LIKE THEY GOT CHEEKBONES HOW MANY ANIMALS GOT CHEEKBONES YOU TELL ME!’
She then asked me what is cheekbone.)
***
Ten Ways to Carry A Bag
1. The Excruciating Way
This is how I always carry it. Put your hand in that position for 8 hours and you will get my pain.
2. The Hello-Snatchthief Way
Easiest way to steal a bag. Really.
3. The No-no way.
You never, EVER carry a Noe like that.
4. The Retarded Way
Enough said.
5. The Wrong Way
6. The Retarded Way Number Two
7. The My-Arm-Is-A-Bag Way
Wohoho now you know why I chose this bag.
8. The Precarious Way (also known as My Bag is Smelly Way)
9. The Paranoid Way
10. The Best Way
---
(While I am blogging this purely because I think it’s funny, some people might think I’m being high-falutin again so here you go ...)
I AM NOT RICH!
Just thought I’d say it before you do. I believe everyone is capable of buying luxury, it’s just the matter of whether they want to or not, and I happen to choose to squander my money on designer stuff, that’s all. (And this is my money AFTER I’ve saved aside some – yes I am finally getting into the habit of saving! – and after I’ve sacrificed a whole lot of other things like food. And haircuts. So now I’m living on 1.50 per piece chicken wing and walking around with a Mohawk.)
Trust me, I did use to tone down blogging about my stuff but you see hah, when I blog about only one shoe you say please la stop trying to ACT RICH. When I blog about a lot of shoe you all say hello miss please BE HUMBLE. Haha!!! I do this also die do that also die! (More in next post about my cannot win predicament; I realize I keep saying more in next post more in next post. Yes I am very fecund blogger. I even completed an advertorial you know! On the bright side I’m screwed for my SAT next week.)
But why oh why la did I swear to only shop with my own laboriously earned money! Stupid man I was like so semangat when I could first half-pay for a designer bag last year so the next thing I knew I was making that stupid promise to myself.
Okay la not like my dad was ever that willing to pay for my stuff but at least ... NO! I shall not turn back!
I can, however, do this.
Me: Mummy’s birthday is coming!
Dad: Mm.
Me: We should buy her something!
Dad: Mm.
Me: Why not buy her an LV bag?
Dad: Mummy don’t like those things one la. Buy for her or you. (Plan fail.)
Sometimes Wee Lim and I wonder if I’m really my mother’s daughter. (Stupid boyfriend how can you make me think I’m picked up from some rubbish dump.) We can be so so SO different at times! In the sense that my mother doesn’t have even a scintilla of interest in designer bags, let alone own one!
Can you believe it! But ... but ... will you just look at her daughter!
Everytime I see my friends sharing bags with their moms, I feel a paroxysm of jealousy. Not because they have nicer bags than me, but because they share this bond with their moms that I will never know how it feels to have. Okay la it’s also because they have nicer bags than me. (And usually those friends who love designer bags to death have designer-loving mothers too! My God I must be some genetic anomaly.) (Either that or it’s back to my rubbish dump theory.) Except for a dislike of bad piano playing, my mom and I share nothing. Let me repeat that. NOTHING. Not even shoes!
How about you? Is your mother a world apart from you too?
***
I may sound like I abhor bloggers who write well, but that is so wide of the mark! I love reading Alex’s blog (in case you, like, haven’t heard, she has, like, her own column in The Star on Saturday named, like, Navel-Gazing) but then again maybe I’m just being bias because she’s a dear friend and she wrote a published article about me before (and compared me to Maria Sharapova, don’t forget!!). Wah confirm I’m being bias lor.
***
PS - I was searching up horses photos on Flickr to post here and omg I just got hooked. They are so beautiful!!!
So statuesque, so graceful, so bone-thin, so defined and sculptured ... they're like the supermodels of animals la ... I also want ... *sheds tear*
But I’m guessing it won’t work if you have an appalling acne problem. These are just shades, you know, not God. Too bad for you.
(Haha my friend so cute la, she read my comment box for the first time and went, ‘Why people say you look like horse.’ to which I replied proudly, ‘Because my face is thin and beautifully sculptured.’ Then you know what she said???? ‘But your face quite fat wor.’ CHAO PO. I say I look like horse means I look like horse la! She then proceeded to say that horses are ugly. I irascibly shouted, ‘BUT HORSES LOOK LIKE THEY GOT CHEEKBONES HOW MANY ANIMALS GOT CHEEKBONES YOU TELL ME!’
She then asked me what is cheekbone.)
***
Ten Ways to Carry A Bag
1. The Excruciating Way
This is how I always carry it. Put your hand in that position for 8 hours and you will get my pain.
2. The Hello-Snatchthief Way
Easiest way to steal a bag. Really.
3. The No-no way.
You never, EVER carry a Noe like that.
4. The Retarded Way
Enough said.
5. The Wrong Way
6. The Retarded Way Number Two
7. The My-Arm-Is-A-Bag Way
Wohoho now you know why I chose this bag.
8. The Precarious Way (also known as My Bag is Smelly Way)
9. The Paranoid Way
10. The Best Way
---
(While I am blogging this purely because I think it’s funny, some people might think I’m being high-falutin again so here you go ...)
I AM NOT RICH!
Just thought I’d say it before you do. I believe everyone is capable of buying luxury, it’s just the matter of whether they want to or not, and I happen to choose to squander my money on designer stuff, that’s all. (And this is my money AFTER I’ve saved aside some – yes I am finally getting into the habit of saving! – and after I’ve sacrificed a whole lot of other things like food. And haircuts. So now I’m living on 1.50 per piece chicken wing and walking around with a Mohawk.)
Trust me, I did use to tone down blogging about my stuff but you see hah, when I blog about only one shoe you say please la stop trying to ACT RICH. When I blog about a lot of shoe you all say hello miss please BE HUMBLE. Haha!!! I do this also die do that also die! (More in next post about my cannot win predicament; I realize I keep saying more in next post more in next post. Yes I am very fecund blogger. I even completed an advertorial you know! On the bright side I’m screwed for my SAT next week.)
But why oh why la did I swear to only shop with my own laboriously earned money! Stupid man I was like so semangat when I could first half-pay for a designer bag last year so the next thing I knew I was making that stupid promise to myself.
Okay la not like my dad was ever that willing to pay for my stuff but at least ... NO! I shall not turn back!
I can, however, do this.
Me: Mummy’s birthday is coming!
Dad: Mm.
Me: We should buy her something!
Dad: Mm.
Me: Why not buy her an LV bag?
Dad: Mummy don’t like those things one la. Buy for her or you. (Plan fail.)
Sometimes Wee Lim and I wonder if I’m really my mother’s daughter. (Stupid boyfriend how can you make me think I’m picked up from some rubbish dump.) We can be so so SO different at times! In the sense that my mother doesn’t have even a scintilla of interest in designer bags, let alone own one!
Can you believe it! But ... but ... will you just look at her daughter!
Everytime I see my friends sharing bags with their moms, I feel a paroxysm of jealousy. Not because they have nicer bags than me, but because they share this bond with their moms that I will never know how it feels to have. Okay la it’s also because they have nicer bags than me. (And usually those friends who love designer bags to death have designer-loving mothers too! My God I must be some genetic anomaly.) (Either that or it’s back to my rubbish dump theory.) Except for a dislike of bad piano playing, my mom and I share nothing. Let me repeat that. NOTHING. Not even shoes!
How about you? Is your mother a world apart from you too?
***
I may sound like I abhor bloggers who write well, but that is so wide of the mark! I love reading Alex’s blog (in case you, like, haven’t heard, she has, like, her own column in The Star on Saturday named, like, Navel-Gazing) but then again maybe I’m just being bias because she’s a dear friend and she wrote a published article about me before (and compared me to Maria Sharapova, don’t forget!!). Wah confirm I’m being bias lor.
***
PS - I was searching up horses photos on Flickr to post here and omg I just got hooked. They are so beautiful!!!
So statuesque, so graceful, so bone-thin, so defined and sculptured ... they're like the supermodels of animals la ... I also want ... *sheds tear*
Attn: I removed the quote and ... REPLACED IT WITH A HORSE PHOTO MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by
May Zhee | Thu Apr 24, 11:13:00 AM
dear mayzhee,
i'm actually quite enjoying this blog now. you're not that bad. anyone who loves horses half as much as i do can't be that bad.
you should take up horse riding. it's fun and great exercise. plus horses are beautiful creatures to be around.
Posted by
Kira | Thu Apr 24, 01:37:00 PM
lol at the 10th way
Posted by
Ln | Thu Apr 24, 02:24:00 PM
too bad people think u look like an animal
Posted by
Warcraft | Thu Apr 24, 03:00:00 PM
daphne iking loves horses because she's born in the year of the horse. true about horses being the animal with cheekbones ;)
and about carrying your bag? i think one of the best ways would be ways that avoid getting the attention of easy snatching.
Posted by
Samantha | Thu Apr 24, 03:35:00 PM
I really enjoyed this blog post.
Posted by
Laksarian | Thu Apr 24, 05:01:00 PM
kira finally you show you have a blog. or is just newly made? like after criticizing mayzhee you wanna be like her?
Posted by
MeL | Thu Apr 24, 05:43:00 PM
however, glad u aint criticizing anymore. i know in the previous post u replied to my comment. haha like it!
Posted by
mel | Thu Apr 24, 06:09:00 PM
ya kira.uve changed.better u are this way.
Posted by
Anonymous | Thu Apr 24, 06:19:00 PM
i have decided to save my criticisms for more worthy causes. such as animal cruelty and abandoned baby animals by the side of the road. have you seen those puppies?!?!? it's so sad.
Posted by
Kira | Thu Apr 24, 06:54:00 PM
the 6th way was pretty creative! Lol.
Posted by
passion_for_pink | Thu Apr 24, 07:29:00 PM
lol...you are too cute!
Posted by
Leandra | Thu Apr 24, 08:52:00 PM
why do you keep blogging bout your mum doesnt own those LV bags, especially after the incident where everyone said that you actually only own 1 bag, the one your bf bought for you.
I personally think that the LV bags featured on your blog are for older people. Maybe you have a different taste.
Posted by
stephie | Thu Apr 24, 09:09:00 PM
SHIT! What happened to the blog post I just published?!?! I’m sure I hit published, what did I do now!!! You guys saw it righttttt!
Posted by
May Zhee | Fri Apr 25, 01:21:00 AM
yeah, it seemed like an intentional provocation to get hits on your site though.
Posted by
Kira | Fri Apr 25, 01:37:00 AM
Leandra, Laksarian, passion for pink, Ln, kira thanks! =D =D =D
Samantha, urgh I hope never to have that experience!
Stephie, haha why blog what also need to have reasons! As you can see I am really quite random. (But my previous post was a tad bit too long so I decided to continue here.) It's okay. Those people are delusional, I shouldn't expect any less.
Posted by
May Zhee | Fri Apr 25, 01:37:00 AM
lolllllllz i love the way WL looks in the tenth picture
Posted by
jasmine | Fri Apr 25, 04:53:00 AM
hahaha....
nuf' said.
Posted by
Anonymous | Fri Apr 25, 07:27:00 AM
'The Best Way' to carry a bag will make it as 'My Best Joke' of the day!! Cool!!
Posted by
Amanda | Fri Apr 25, 08:59:00 AM
kira,i saw a videO once where they skin dogs alive. dogs were crying!
Posted by
mel | Fri Apr 25, 01:40:00 PM
Lol! You're adorable. I usually go for the Excruciating Way (coming home with a nice red indentation across my arm)or The Paranoid Way (esp. in crowded lifts and trains). I'm usually "pantang" with the "Best Way". I don't like my man holding my bag unless I need to go to the loo or something. lol. It looks too ridiculous. He can hold my shopping bags though. ;)
anyway, good luck with your SATs, May Zhee!
p/s: LV bags are harmless and a very nice one u got there. not the ah-soh type. lol. RM80k Hermes bag. Now, that's crazy.
Posted by
Connie | Fri Apr 25, 02:21:00 PM
... are you serious. that is so awful...
Posted by
Kira | Fri Apr 25, 03:02:00 PM
Serious shit. Hang the dog upside down then just skin them. Why the fuck they do that? Keep the skin fresh by skinning them alive? Bastards must be people who hate dogs. I shall not say who.
Posted by
MeL | Fri Apr 25, 06:28:00 PM
u're linked!
Posted by
Samantha | Fri Apr 25, 07:38:00 PM
Hey mayzhee! just a question.. how does one sit for the SATs in malaysia?
Posted by
Sarah | Fri Apr 25, 10:30:00 PM
Sarah, you must register under collegeboard.com
Posted by
Anonymous | Sat Apr 26, 02:51:00 PM
What did Pinkpau ever do to deserve this from you? Has she writing anything bad about you before? You are just plain mean to say someting like that about a person who has never doing anything to you.
Posted by
Anonymous | Sun Apr 27, 12:38:00 AM
you suck mayzhee, face the fact . . . cant you understand pple get hurt by your words? how would she feel to see you talk about her like that
how would you like it if i called your blog boring? stop acting like youre the queen of the world la budak
Posted by
Anonymous | Sun Apr 27, 12:39:00 AM
you are just jealous of pinkpau
Posted by
Anonymous | Sun Apr 27, 12:39:00 AM
may zhee may zhee may zheeeeeeee
can you quickly come up with another post ar? everyday visit your blog to know that no posts. SIGH
Posted by
MeL | Sun Apr 27, 12:48:00 AM
you are really so immature to say such things about pinkpau. shame on you. you have no regards for other people's feelings whatsoever.
Posted by
sad | Sun Apr 27, 01:48:00 AM
What mayzhee did to u, anonymous? U just jealous of her?
Sad?! I see ur name and comment also make me feel sad....
Posted by
Dragon | Sun Apr 27, 07:22:00 PM
After this more people will make their bf to carry their bags lol...
poor guys of the world!
Posted by
Lee | Mon Apr 28, 05:55:00 PM
stop bragging ur lv can already?is only a bag. is only LV. i dont see any reason to brag about it.
btw can i just say this, no matter how many lv's you have, i would still think they are all fakes.why so?because you are not elegant to carry them yet.learn ur manner first.why not go for a personality fix up class first my darling? mann.you need serious help.
Posted by
Anonymous | Tue Apr 29, 12:37:00 PM
@anonymous - you know you sound really bitter don't you? it's not cool to balk at lv(or her lv for that matter) just because your own impoverished self cannot afford shit. i actually feel sorry for you.
Posted by
evolvescence | Fri May 02, 03:14:00 AM