Karl Lagerfeld's tips to save money

HAHAHA okay he did not exactly put it that way. This was from April's Harper's Bazaar's (man that's a lot of apostrophes) Solutions page where readers write in problems (God but for this issue I hope they were made up because they totally pissed Karl off) and Karl answers them. But from his solutions I have managed to pick up such good tips to save money! Observe.

These are words from the fashion czar himself.

1. "Never use the word cheap. Today everybody can look chic in inexpensive clothes (the rich buy them, too). There is good clothing on every level today. You can be the chicest thing in the world in a T-shirt and jeans - it's up to you."
Jeans. A necessity. A must-have. An investment.

2. "The body has to be impeccable as well - that helps a lot. If it's not, buy small sizes and less food."
Omg damn right! See, none of that whole you can be beautiful in big sizes too bull shit.

3. " ... don't skip on make-up, and be sure to have flawless skin and hair. That will have more impact than expensive clothes."
The fashion czar tells nothing but the truth! It's true. When you're hot, you just look nice in everything. If you're ugly you cannot wear expensive clothes to save your life.

4. "First look at the tuxedo you already own. The same goes for blouse and pearls. They all look the same anyway, and they can wait because they're not new. Buy what you don't have yet, or what you really want, to be mixed with what you already own."
Omg this advice may seem so simple but it's the best, really. Why do we girls keep buying the same dress three damn times??! Money can be better spent on other stuff! Like make-up! So you will look hot and nice in your old clothes!

5. "Life should not be a fashion show."
*exhale breath*

6. 'The red-carpet look needs to be reinvented, but since you are not a movie star, the only carpet you have to dazzle on is your own."
I have no idea what that means but sounds good!

On another note, BIMBA AND LOLA HAS OPENED IN MALAYSIA???!?!? Since when! Oh my goodness I am so outdated I totally did not know that! Did anyone check them out yet? Nice clothes? Even nicer prices?

And on a more caustic note, I am sick of people wanting to be called a Becky Bloomwood for no apparent reason! Especially when they are nowhere near and just want to be seen as like a rich/stylish person or something I don't know. That is totally not what Becky is about and I consider you to be an insult to her character!

Excuse me but do you have a lot of money that you can buy like three bags from Guess and still have money left over for a good bottle of perfume? All in one day? Then you are NOT Becky Bloomwood. If you were on a holiday, and you had a chance to go shopping, but your family/friends decide not to, would you do whatever it means to go anyway? No, not in a foreign unknown place? Then you are NOT Becky Bloomwood. Is the craziest thing you've done for shopping running down the street flagging down some stranger's car and then begging that stranger to take you to the shopping mall? No, never tried that before? Then you are NOT Becky Bloomwood!

That would also make you NOT crazy but that's the point. If you're a perfectly sane person, then you are NOT Becky Bloomwood.

Two random things:

American candy!



Marshmallow chicks!

I have another that's a carrot-shaped container with bubble gum balls inside. I'll take a pic of it next time!

From one end of the world to the other ... my aunt and cousin bought this during their holiday in Japan.


Mini Sony Vaio!!!


Compare to my hand!


When opened!

Shereen is in Japan now I hope she bought me something. If not a Sony Vaio laptop at least my beloved scallop snack!!

It's not a Dwarf Hotot bunny anymore, I swear! (It's better.)

12 seconds is all Ryan Phillippe needs to get me in bed.



For those who have watched Cruel Intentions (and not watch it when you're like 9 and have no idea what "diddling the maid" means), you'll get it/find it hot! For those who don't, watch it and tell me you don't find it hot too!!!! His last line O.M.G!!! For those who watched the movie and don't find it hot, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! The way he goes "Nawwh" then turns around, starts unbuttoning his shirt and goes "I'll Santa Claus you". You gotta watch the whole movie to get it! You can start here.

Ryan Phillippe is what, I would term, a walking orgasm. I just watched Cruel Intentions and I'm so hot over him now! I sense a whole lascivious post about him coming! How!!! Tell me someone out there fervidly agrees with me!

Okay I know this is damn long ago

Update: No no! A lot of you have misunderstood! I have no problems with people who say I look like Dawn, and I admit it's not all bad la because to some degree she is quite pretty (taking away the melting face and all that)! I was just angry at people who call me shameless for something I did not do! Read carefully!

But I've been searching through what some people have said about me in the past and I just feel like I have to set the record straight IN WRITING so there can be some kind of official record of this in the world wide web.

This feeling I am having now is akin to how you would feel if your uncle or whoever was hung to death ten years ago for a crime he was alleged to have committed (say, committing indecent act with a car vacuum cleaner like that guy in yesterday's news) but in fact he was actually innocent, wouldn't you want to clear his name too? Despite the fact that he's dead now and it's been ten years and the car vacuum cleaner is gone? Yes you would so bear with me. For the sake of your uncle.

So what is it that I still have a beef with?

The whole "OH MAY ZHEE SO THICK FACE SHE SAY SHE LOOK LIKE DAWN YANG" issue. I have never clarified this officially on my blog before (I checked) so here it goes.

First of all, I have never, EVER, EVER said I look like Dawn before. Never. People say I look like Dawn but I have never mentioned, not even once, not on my own accord, not on my own wits, not using my own vocal chord (or in this case it's all ten of my typing fingers) that I think I look like Dawn. If I did, I must have said it in either these two ways:

1) "People say I look like Dawn." Which is true. People do tell me often that I resemble her in photos. Blog comments, my own friends, random blog posts by others, etc. So I am merely pointing this out. Not agreeing, not disageeing either. Just a succinct mention of it.

2) Or I say it this way. "Okay if you do insist on saying I look like Dawn Yang I think you are wrong and instead should say that SHE looks like me."

I've explained this before, but I'll elucidate again.

Okay in a normal case, sure, Dawn was born first, she is older, therefore if anyone of us looks like the other, it should be stated as, "May Zhee looks like Dawn" because she came into this earth first.

BUT, this is not a normal case. Because Dawn here did not come into this earth looking like what she looks like today. She came to this earth, looking like this.









It was only after year 2000 or whatever, after she had a whole transformation with plasic surgeries equivalent to the GDP of a small country, that she finally ended up looking like this.


AFTER.

Which is what people say I look like. She got this face after her PS while I was born into mine so how can I be the one who looks like her?! I mean it'd be okay if she only did some changes and still has even a teensy bit of resemblance with her old self, but she totally changed her face lor ok! What resemblance do you see with her old self??!?! Like two totally different people can!

And in case you wanna counter saying I look like the old ugly Dawn thinking you're so very smart, YOU ARE WRONG! When Dawn started blogging and whoring her photos it was already post-surgery her and people only had her post-surgery pics to compare with mine, so shut up!

I saw some dumb ass girl going on and on in her blog about my statement "Dawn Yang looks like me" without even reading my blog post in its entirety, which was written not even to talk about me looking like Dawn, but instead to point out this fault with the sentence "I look like Dawn". Purely technical blog post, interpreted beyond its purpose by this blogger bitch.

So this blog post is for her, and for all the people who once mistook me for some facile blogger who runs around calling herself a Dawn look-a-like. I have never once said I look like her and I will most likely never say it. And I don't care that you think I look like her, just don't make it seem like I am the one who promulgated this message. Thank you.

Okay I will stop now because this post is making me cringe.

Oh my goodness WHY rabbit WHY

The worst thing you can do when you want a Dwarf Hotot badly but can't afford a Dwart Hotot but still want the Dwarf Hotot badly ... is to look up videos of the Dwart Hotot on Youtube.


That goddamn eyeliner gets me all the time! Guys, now do you see why girls wear eyeliner all the time???

Someone commented, "Its eyes are bigger than its head." HAHA.


What are you doing bunny what are you doing!!!!!!!!!!

Both videos are less than 20 seconds, but it only takes 15 seconds to send the message WE ARE BLOODY CUTE BUY US across. It is driving me crazy.

PS - I found a solution for my bunny problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to buy a normal bunny for RM30 and then draw eyeliner around its eyes! :D

Remember when I said I was going to post pictures of me working aka digging holes?

If you could take a photo of misery, it would look like this.




"Shereen I wanna go homeeeeeeeeeee."
"Shut up."


That. Is. The. Hoe. I. Was. Talking. About.


Haha me purposely walking in to ruin the photo.


At least ... at least ... we look thin in this photo! Okay la YOU try and come up with something good about a photo of two girls digging in earth.


Despite living in poverty for four days, one must learn to smile happily. Like African kids you know.


This was on the first day of work, hence the different shirt. That's Wee Lim's shirt btw.

These are all ancient photos from Facebook and as I was scouring for them, I saw some other post-worthy photos.


Chicken and captain obvious.


Hahaha trust me his girlfriend is hotter than all of us combined. And she's KOREAN. And like super tres tres smart. With super tres good fashion sense. Or maybe it's just because she's hot that's why. Have you wondered why hot people look good in anything?? Hate those people.


Me trying to peel prawn with chopsticks. I have shamed you, my Chinese ancestors. I hope you guys were not the creators of chopsticks or something.




Omg even super long ago these two photos! Like September 2008!

I leave you guys with this photo:


Freshkon Winsome Brown, baby.

Omg another decision! I can make a whole blog based on decisions. Bloody bunny costs RM500

Okay this time, it's about
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No, not just rabbits. Fucking cute rabbits.


Dare you tell me this is not the cutest thing you've ever seen??????

Okay so this is how the story goes!

Wait ah just one more photo.


Eeeeeeeeek! How God managed to create something so cute is inconceivable to me.

Okay the story starts with how I've always wanted a dog. But my mom probably wouldn't be too happy about it so I'm waiting for my dad to step up and buy a dog secretly and get kicked out of the house but I soon realize that day is not coming anytime soon.

And holy shit dogs are expensive okay! So even if I wanna secretly buy it I gotta secretly buy it with like RM750 minimum! I know I can adopt dogs but still .... anyway so I realize I just really wanted a pet and I looked to the alternatives. And this was my ranking of pets that are easiest to take care of, from hard to easy.

1. Dogs (must clean shit must walk it must play with it must spend for it and when it dies you will have a sad scene like Marley and Me)
2. Cats (less laborious, because they don't need walking but must take into account their disloyalty, their possible scratching of my furniture and the fact that I hate cats)
3. Rabbits (damn easy and damn cute. Even their poop is like round and almost odorless. Disadvantage is that they fuck like crazy, but if I only buy one then who's it going to fuck with right. Also cheaper, like RM180?)


Can I emphasize on the point DAMN CUTE.


See got eyeliner some more! Look like me right.

I want it so much seriously! Wee Lim said he would buy it for me but oh what does he know he is all the way in Melbourne. I. Want. That. Bunny! The species is called Dwarf Hotot, if I'm not mistaken. And it's so bloody cute I want to kill myself everytime I look at it.

To open or not to open

Because I have finished studying for my Biology exam tomorrow *pats head* and I can't clean my room because THE MOTHER refuses to borrow me her hole puncher (it relates, because there three months worth of loose notes around my room and I need a hole puncher to bloody murder them all. Haha kidding I mean to PUNCH PAINFUL HOLES IN THE STUPID PAPERS SO I CAN STORE THEM IN THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE. Seriously why do I even bother taking notes. They're always incomplete - got first sentence only - and I never use them anyway) so here I am, blogging about this thingI've been cogitating about for some time now.

And that is whether or not to open an online boutique.

Mind you, it's online boutique, not blog shop.

Lately I've been seeing that a lot of people, including your highness' own friends, have been opening their own online shops so much so that it has almost matched the craze of the time when blogs first started. And what do you do when you see a lot of people having blogs? You want to have one too.

And there's also another reason. There is this one singular powerful reason, the reason why all the shopping centers in the world are still in business, a reason so overwhelming and all-consuming that all the sales in the world are made on that, and even the whole fashion industry and fashion magazines, in fact, are founded on this reason.

And that reason is: girls love to look at clothes.

That's why we insist on going to shopping malls, to flea markets and to fashion shows. That's why boyfriends hate going to shopping malls, flea markets and fashion shows. That's why we read fashion magazines. That's why our pupils dilate when we see the fashion section in newspapers. That's why it's so easy to fool us into buying clothes.

Truth be told the only thing that can match this voracious appetite for eye food is sex. (Of if you're a fashion person who likes, say, Star Wars, then it's probably Star Wars. Unless you only like Star Wars because you think of shagging Chewbacca then it goes back to sex again.)

That's what I like too. Just to look at clothes. I scour blog shops whenever I'm bored, sometimes I do it into the wee hours of the morning just to satiate my need for images of clothes. Guys who are reading this feel free to scratch your head whichever way you please, because this is true and this is happening, my friend.

As a result, blog shops are popping up like bacteria. (Did I not tell you I just finished studying for Biology?) And I can predict that 60% of them are bad ones that will be closed down some day. 10% are good ones that will be closed down some day. 20% are ones that have their good days and bad days ... which will be closed down some day too. There is a 10% population of blog shops however that are genuinely good ... but will either evolve into a bigger website, a standing store or be faced with a close down too.

I'll tell you a few which I think are good.

1. Shopaholics Unite!





Run by Leng, who has such a knack in choosing clothes! Her clothes are always almost immediately sold out upon time of publishing the post! Even clothes with the most outlandish designs, clothes that you would think no one would buy, Leng can sell them just by creating the right sort of hype.

In fact it is the outlandishness that sells it. Her clothes are so different and unique and so so chic. That's chic right there. Genuine chic.

What makes a good blog shop, to me, is not just the layout of the website or whether they have a .com or not. In fact all the good blog shops on my list have the most simple designs and they are in blogspots. It is their product that sells themselves. Case in point:

2. Moca and Mooie




Grouping clothes together ... always a smart move! Don't they look so enticing!

Okay they have the advantage of having standing stores, but an advantage nonetheless! (HAHAHAHA I stole this line from Xiaxue's latest Guide To Life "I am a virgin ... in the ass. But a virgin nonetheless." Hohoho that girl is fucking funny.)

3. And for shoes, Mezzanine Time is doing a pretty good job.




They're smart to first put shoes from international brands, all lovely photos and all, and then put photos of their own shoes. It really does work. Helps that their shoes are gorgeous.

There are a lot more good ones that I spend my free time browsing through ("So when she's not shopping in malls ... she's shopping online. Great.") and it's tempting me to create one of my own, one of these good blog shops, so people can browse when they're bored and if they like, then they can buy!

And okay, if I want to look at clothes, I might as well go to Armaniexchange.com or forever21.com to browse through right! But I don't like that they seem so unreachable for god's sake we're separated by seven seas lor. At least these local online shops, you get a sense of accessibility, even if you don't wanna buy them.

I think it's just the exhibitionist in me. I wanna do this for the same reason I'm blogging. I want a avenue, where I can whore my creativity and put to the test, to see if I can really evoke interests in people to visit my online boutique frequently. The money would be good too la of course. (At least the exhibitionist in me is not doing something stupid like oh I don't know posting photos of my vagina all over cyberspace cough cough.)

I've been toying with this idea for a really long time, because it's damn hard to try and make it different than the other generic blog shops. I considered bringing in like luxury bags at lower prices, then I considered luxuy labels in general, but they'd be someone else's clothes and that's not always fun. BUT THEN AGAIN OMG VICTORIA'S SECRET SHORTS ARE SO PRETTY. *slap self* But yeah.

Urgh, tell me people, what do you think? Don't you find blog shops so annoying? Yet when you see a nice dress you just have to browse through them all? Should I open one too, if I can be determined enough to make it a Moca or a Mooie and make it different from the other stores out there?

As promised!

Another embarrassing photo for not updating regularly!


U Zhing seems to think that I was only trying to taste her hair when I was actually ready to eat her entirely.

Not appeased? How about I use the oldest trick in the book eh!



Wuhahaha sex sells.

Fifteen (and more) Reasons Why Malaysian Guys Are The Best

Don't say I never help you guys ah.

12. The simplest reason, seriously. They won't abuse you or beat you or sleep around in their marriage like it's normal. I've heard this perturbing rumor that if you're married to a Korean you have to wake up before the husband does and prepare the toothpaste on the toothbrush for them!!! Now if you were married to a Malaysian you wouldn't have to worry because Malaysians don't brush teeth one hahaha kidding.

11. If you want to go from KLCC shopping center to Avenue K across the road then to Pavilion in Bukit Bintang then back to Avenue K then to Hartamas for dinner at Souled Out then back to your home in Klang all driven around in a car ... no problem man. An American guy will probably just go to Souled Out to throw food at your face.

10. They don't mind if you get fat, or if you were fat before.

9. In fact, they are happier that they are dating a fat corpulent chick. You can dress down, not wear make-up, not comb your hair ... they PREFER all that even. Their motto is to make their girlfriend as unattractive and unappealing to the world as possible so no one would steal their girlfriends from them.

8. They are protective. Enough said.

7. There's a high chance you are smarter than them.

6. You get flowers every Valentine's. Every. Malaysian guys never forget anniversaries. In fact sometimes they make anniversaries up (Happy Three Months! Happy First Time We Locked Eyes Across The Room) so they can celebrate more and show the girlfriend their unbridled love.

5. They always call, text and chat with you online.

4. They study in Subang Jaya, then in Melbourne.

4a. I'm putting this to emphasize how much a Malaysian guy can do in regards to mileage. Seriously. If they have a car, they will use that car. Go to Damansara in the middle of the day to buy your favorite cupcakes and then personally send it to your office? Hell yeah.

4b. Also putting this to re-accentuate how much Malaysian guys are willing to spend for their girlfriends. If they can buy something with money that'll make you happy, they'll do it. If they can bring you a place that'll make you happy that costs a lot of money, they'll do it. Anything that can be bought to make you happy, mark my words, they will do it.

3. They also have incredible powers of patience. They can wait three hours for your interview + photoshoot, they can wait eight hours for your school to be over so they can send you home, they can wait a total of 45 minutes per shop when you are shopping.

3a. They take you shopping. I think this should be number one but oh well.

2. They are loyal and loving. They don't conform to the stereotypical male character.

1. Afraid of being lonely for life, want a man you are destined to be together with for the rest of your life and looking to be committed for a long-term relationship? Get a Malaysian man. It cannot get any easier than that.

AH THIS LIST IS NOT COMPLETE!!! I know there are plenty more, I just know it!!! Can you guys complete this for me??

***

IS THIS YOUR DOG?





Found at Tropicana Indah PJU3/12 on March 17th, Tuesday. If it is yours leave a comment here or e-mail me. Anastasia found it. Do not pretend the dog is yours just to get Anastasia's number. Thank you.

I solemnly swear that ...

... I am only going to spend maximum an hour for homework from now on. I don't wanna fritter away too much time for homework. I need to watch TV.

... I am going to take my third driving class on Thursday and try my best not to drive up the pavement. Again.

... I am going to bake cupcakes to sell at the MKIS Idol show this Friday. I know I don't have an oven. So I plan to buy the cupcakes instead.

... I am going to try and get more than 21-10 and 21-8 for badminton matches. (Wee Lim tells me that this is how much our Datuk Lee lost in the Olympics as well so it's okay.)

... I am going to stop furtively stalking the two kids in my school.

... I am going to be better at furtively stalking the two kids in my school.

... I am going to get a copy of last Wednesday's Kosmo newspaper or so help me I will search the trash dump for it and grow an extra arm from all that nuclear waste!! Does anyone of you have it can you please give me!! A whole article was done on me and I don't have the paper!!!

... I'm going to post a bunch of old photos.


Me: You know Clifford the puppy?
Yvonne: Yeah.
Me: Is it the little red puppy that can suddenly become damn big?
Yvonne: Yeah.
Me: Wait. So how does it grow big again!
Yvonne: With lots of love!!
Me: That's like a penis wtf.


Just wait. This guy is going to take over the world some day. I just know it. Despite not being taller than the cookie jar behind him.


Very vague curls in my hair! My other side was done better, but my arms got in the way of the picture. If you have see-through vision, it's time to use it now! And don't pretend la I know where you looking too.




Can tell that it's old photos because my hair was still black! (Man I've always wanted to say that hahaha)

Did you guys notice? The braces came off. Haha! Ooh very observant you guys I took them out like TWO MONTHS AGO. Well I guess I can discount your culpability because ceramic braces were never that obvious anyway!

Okay that's all you guys! I gotta go panic for my Biology quiz. Bye!

ADAM UMEMOTO YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.

You. Yes, you. The 13-year-old cutie on NATION NEWS PAGE 4 OF TODAY'S THE STAR.

PS - i know I sound like I'm going to kill you but don't worry I'm not mad. I just like to type in capital letters. Because that's what authors do I'M SURE YOU WOULD KNOW. See I'm doing it again.

PPS - I know it's confusing to the rest of you but I don't wanna blog it out here, so I'll explain what's going on in the comments ... if I get more than 20 comments asking what's going on MUAHAHA.

PPPS - Oei! Comment ok! The story is very interesting one!!! It starts out with me being a pedophile ... dum dum DUM.

What if I told you there are people worse than those who torture and rape a girl?

And what if I told you it's the person who is concerned for that girl? Or, I should say, "concerned".

How does this happen, you ask?

In the form of a "concerned" boyfriend, of course.

What I despise more than a person who tortures and rapes a girl is a person who exploits the vulnerability of a girl to their own advantage.

These people, who forbid their girlfriends to go out clubbing or have fun with their friends past midnight, under the pretense that they're afraid she'll get raped, when the truth is they just don't want her to go out. Period.

It's like your parents telling you you can't buy an iPod because it'll disrupt your studies when they just don't want to spend 100k or however much an iPod costs nowadays. Let me tell you, it is fucking annoying. No, not the iniquitous costs of iPods, but the fact that people use pragmatic reasons to mask their own selfishness!!

I am NOT going to get raped in a club. I know my alcohol tolerance level (not very high lor I think if a cat can drink then I am next to the cat in terms of tolerance level) and I know not to accept drinks from suspicious strangers.

I am NOT going to get raped in a cab. The thing is when I first started acclimatizing to Mont Kiara, I was just like a "concerned" boyfriend. I refused to take a cab because of the horror stories injected into my cerebellum. I was scared. I annoyed the shit out of everyone (LITERALLY) by whining and complaining about not wanting to take a cab. But here I am today, after probably 50 cabs, telling you IT IS NOT THAT EASY TO BE RAPED BY A CAB DRIVER SHEESH. I've had more than 50 cabs and not all of them are evil rapists in disguise! Everyone takes cabs, okay, at any time of the day, and you don't see like Xiaxue getting raped or something right?! Okay granted Wendy is Singaporean, but even the girls here, they take cabs, they're still in one piece. Your friend takes a cab, she's still alive to go to work the next day to flirt with your boss. See where I'm coming from?

I am annoyed to no end, I tell you. I know you guys mean well, but ok worse come to worse if something really does happen, I'm sorry to say this but ... too bad la. I'm sorry but sometimes it's just fate. I will definitely be as cautious as I can, not take cabs alone, not take suspicious drinks, not sweep floor on first day of CNY, etc, but if something really does happen ... what can I do then?? Forbidding me to go to clubs just because you don't want me to get raped is like asking me never to drive in highways lest I crash in a high-speed collision.

Now back to the feminism thing. How dare you. How dare you use this excuse, to stop us from doing everything? In that case you might as well say, oh don't go to the grocery store, you'll get raped. Oh don't go to the men's clothing store, lots of men there, you might get raped. It's pathetic.

Here's a list of reasons that men give, and the real, underlying, more important reasons underneath.

1. Don't wear revealing clothes to avoid being molested.
Real reason: We don't want other guys to see your body aka what belongs to us.

2. Don't go out with guys at night to avoid being raped.
Real reason: We just want you to stay at home, bitches, and let us be the ones going out with girls at night because you know we're alpha males we go hunting and bring home t-rex meat so we have every right to go out while you don't because hey like I said you'll get raped.

3. Don't hang out with your guy friends. They're guys you won't know their true ulterior motives.
Real reason: I don't like the world to see you hanging out with other guys because you are mine mine mine.

I can go on forever but my rage is making me spell all my words wrongly and attempting to publish this in five minutes. I am fucking pissed off, seriously.

***

I'm listening to Your Body is a Wonderland now. After listening to Afzal singing it at MKIS Idol (my school's version of American Idol) I love it so much and find that it can calm me anytime anywhere. I used to feel really sad and emotional when I listened to When You're Gone. Now I don't. I think you guys can figure out what that means.

***

Too bad. I turned off John Mayer. I am angry again.

This time, it's at idealists. Those lovey-dovey writers who write about the ideal lives of others or about others wanting ideal lives. Hey fucktard, wake up lor, this is the real world. You think there're still tonnes of beautiful people who wake up and find true love and live happily ever after???? Like your eyes meet across the ballroom or something and you sneak out to the garden with lights with ball gowns fuck this okay this is not a Taylor Swift song!

This is the real world. And in the real world, beautiful people have disastrous relationships. You meet the eyes of a guy across the ballroom? He's probably married, with two kids. You pursue him, you get him, there, that's your happy ending. And someone else's gets crushed.

Stop being such a goddamn idealist. I know why this happens because they're surrounded by idealist people and so they become idealists. My friends fall into two kinds of categories. Maybe there are more, but I have yet to discover it. (Like how taxonomists recently discovered six kingdoms and separate prokaryotes into eubacteria and archaebacteria GOD I AM SUCH A NERD SOMETIMES.) One category of friends is the innocent one, those who have never been exposed to the real world. They're the goddamn idealists. Or at least, they have not yet been exposed. This is just their nursery, they're going to move to the second category soon.

The second category is the realistic, practical one. They know what it means to cheat. They've seen people cheat, they know why they cheat, they know why it's bad. Not just because it's cheating. That's my MKIS friends for you. I'm halfway to this category. I want to believe in the true love bullshit but it's getting harder everyday as my own life asserts itself more strongly than before. Mr Craig, my awesome English teacher, who never fails to remind us everyday that love is a social contract, is not helping.

Yeah I'm cynical today. Did you just notice? How very observant of you! Shall I clap for you?

The truth is I am depressed as hell. Here, Debra's recommendation.

A lot of people think that arguing leads to the end of a relationship. They're wrong. It's when one party stops bothering to argue that the end comes.

This is Rory.

Seems pretty normal right? Right.


Tall, nice hair, cool style, good looking ...

And then he did this.



And this.


And this.

For those who've read my blog long enough to know what I'm talking about, congratulations you just met Kristi's brother.