I've always had a very "open door" policy with my mind. I don't mind saying stuff on Facebook, my blog and Twitter, or to my friends, or to random strangers, because I believe that everything I say or do should be able to be repeated. I am okay with saying things, it's just a matter of whether you're ready to hear them or not.
Because I believe that there is ... a balance, if you would call it, in the universe. Like fate. Somehow the universe has it all planned out already. By keeping things a secret, I ruin the balance. I ruin what is meant to be. How things are supposed to be. Everyone should be allowed to know what everyone is saying or doing.
Let me show you an example. If I like this guy and I tell my friend, I will also tell her not to tell anyone because I don't want to ruin any possible future chances with him, because maybe he has a girlfriend and maybe he is the smartest guy I've ever seen with so much charisma and maybe just maybe he was shortlisted for a Harvard interview. Maybe. But anyway. You know generally when you like someone, you never want them to know.
But, why? Why shouldn't you let someone you like know you're interested in them?
Maybe my guy, one day in the future, breaks up with his girlfriend and is desperate, lonely and horny, will think back on that creepy girl who once liked him, and will give me a call. Then BAM! The bus of fate turns around and hits you, favoring you somehow. (Okay it's nicer than it sounds.)
Observing my history with men I realize my forwardness has helped me a lot more than if I had been shy and beaten around the bush with what I want, or, you know "play hard to get". Silly mind games and silly rules society makes for us. All my guys knew my true intentions from the start, and they didn't mind. In fact, it was what made things happen between us.
My point is, be honest. It'll help you, somehow. If the universe has planned for you two to be together, it will happen if you let it happen. Be honest, put it out there, and it'll happen eventually. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week. Maybe when you guys meet in college and the guy has more common sense now (read: college girls), he'll remember you as the girl who once had a thing for him, and something will happen.
Versus if you had kept it a secret, you'll just be the girl who walked past him at the coffee house. There's really no harm in letting someone know you want him. There is harm in letting someone know how you want him, where you want him and what you want to do when you get him ... but hey 10% of that is okay. Or 5%, if he's easily frightened.
Expanding on that topic ... why the fuck are there stupid rules in the first place?
I was watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona and I got so angry at this again! VCB is basically a movie about two girls who fall for this painter, and one girl, Cristina, moves in with him, and shares him with his deranged ex-wife. Cristina doesn't conform to conventional values and rules, and she just enjoys things the way they are (read: threesomes). The other girl, Vicky, is married and cheats on her incredibly mundane husband with the painter. What's that I hear? SOCIETY'S RULES.
If a girl were to share a man, she would be condemned in every way possible. But hey, if it's nothing serious, then why not? Why shouldn't we be able to just follow our natural desires and do what we want? I have been in a thing where my guy (whom I really liked too) had another girl as well, and she knew about me too. I had a good time with him. I was happy, I was smitten, albeit a little jealous sometimes, but it felt perfectly normal.
I am against cheating, but I think the only thing wrong with cheating is that one person led the other person to believe that he/she wouldn't cheat, and that if he/she did, it would be wrong. Where did this nonsense about only having one girl for one guy come from? SOCIETY.
Why shouldn't a person be able to have multiple partners in life? We need variety! Diversity! Difference! Sex is a beautiful thing (yes I just said that) and we should be able to explore it however we want to, alone, or with another, or with two others.
The problem with our society is we lack OPTIONS. Some fool somewhere led us all to believe that there is only black and white. Love can only be between one man and one woman! No lesbians/gays allowed! No polygamy! Being single means being an unloved loser!
I forgot who it was said this ... but he/she said people always associate singledom with isolation, not abundance. It's the best way I've heard anyone put it before. Good job Rory! (I just remembered)
I don't see why a girl shouldn't be able to go up to a guy and tell him how she feels ... and I don't see why the guy should be freaked out or anything by a girl who does that. Things will be so much better if we all just said how we feel, and we all know what people are doing. That way, maybe people will actually WATCH what they're doing. It's because they know they can hide behind this veil of secrecy, deception and lies that they do all kinds of shit.
So yes, there you go, my advise: just be honest. And the universe will plan the rest.
14 comments:
Hey May Zhee! Just a quick question. What about guys ? Should guys just go up to a girl and tell her how he feels?
Yet another great post! SOCIETY. Its just the way we are brought up, like SEX, its a wonderful thing, but not socially acceptable to be simply talked about. How nice if we are to revert our society back to the olden days of ancient Rome. but minus the slavery, gladiator cockfights, just keep the orgy thing and multiple sex partners thing going.. haha. (just watched "Spartacus" the series. Lots of penis and boobs.. XD) anyway, lovely post again! Lookin forward for more!
How i wish more girls are able to think like u. haha.
Yet another great post! SOCIETY. Its just the way we are brought up, like SEX, its a wonderful thing, but not socially acceptable to be simply talked about. How nice if we are to revert our society back to the olden days of ancient Rome. but minus the slavery, gladiator cockfights, just keep the orgy thing and multiple sex partners thing going.. haha. (just watched "Spartacus" the series. Lots of penis and boobs.. XD) anyway, lovely post again! Lookin forward for more!
How i wish more girls are able to think like u. haha.
am I reading too much into this line, "maybe just maybe he was shortlisted for a Harvard interview"
ps for those who don't know, 4 were shortlisted for the interview in Malaysia. All four were males. XD
God i fucking love this post fuck you May Zhee i fucking love you :)
No offence but i thought you were those kind of girls who would stay a virgin until marriage...
Well, people behave according to how society dictates precisely because society rules are determined by the majority. I'm not saying that this means the rules are fixed or that they're correct. It just means that it's a current consensus that the society has with regards to how relationships/ interactions are carried out with one another. Of course there'll be people who disagree with that, but they're either cowed by what society thinks of them and therefore conform to societal norms, or are like you who feel strongly enough about their opinions and are brave enough to voice them our. Since there are relatively few brave people around, they always find each other anyway. What I'm really trying to say here is-- it doesn't matter if society doesn't understand you, as long as you're with people who do. But as much as how you may dismiss societal rules, you can't deny that they are what makes society cohesive and they are the foundation of a country's legal system. One can't possibly be in a society where too much autonomy is given to an individual because there will simply be no law.
Much of how society works is based on what society sees as "moral". You may think that there's nothing much to promiscuity and that people should not be judged for thier carnal desires and that everyone should be left to do as they pleased. But surely not all sexual relationships can be left to the individual. Instinctively, incestuous relationships are immoral and wrong, even if they were consensual. So much of societal rules are simply that--instinctive.
Anyway, this is just my opinion. I do understand why you wish to disagree with how society views certain issues, but I do think that there is a need for societal rules too.
Just one problem sweetie: you're bright so if he's cute but not brainy then you saying just what you think will terrify him. Sometimes you have to have to keep your mouth shut for a bit to get what you want. Hehehhe...
A VERY powerful post. I like it. Good job, May Zhee! :)
you might enjoy the song You Don't Know My Name by Alicia Keys :)
May Zhee this is simply AWESOME! I copy-pasted it in my blog hope u dont mind . (:
your post nvr fails to blow me away
May Zhee this is simply AWESOME! I copy-pasted it in my blog hope u dont mind . (:
your post nvr fails to blow me away
your logic is getting more and more warped. I can barely understand you anymore.
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