Sorry for not blogging, I've been too busy trying to lead my meaningless existence.

IB Exams have been going on for two weeks now, today going into its third week.

I've only been getting two hours of sleep everyday. I take one cup of coffee at midnight, to keep me awake throughout the night, and I take one more in the morning, right before my exams, to keep me awake through that. I am up from 12am to 6am, reading, cramming, processing - I find 3.30am to be my peak time, because then I've gotten so used to the idea of studying and all my initial pain and misery have been overcome by this uncanny enthusiasm, fueled by caffeine and the prospect of doing well.

During a break in exams, I get a lucky four hours of sleep, before waking up and studying like a motherfucker, convincing myself that this is my last chance to make any difference to my grade, that this is the final push before it all comes to an end.

From day to day, that's how I've been living, subsisting on coffee and knowledge. Sleeping was never on my own accord, it happens when I've become too tired that I give in and fall flat onto the wide-opened book in front of me.

I have never properly pulled a blanket over me in three weeks to fall asleep. My naps were unplanned, and when I woke up I chastised myself for them. Facebook means nothing to me anymore ... it's gone to the point where procrastination has lost its delights. I either study, or I don't.

I fall asleep to myself reciting historical events of the 1920s, or the biological processes of cell respiration, and I find myself waking up to some random Math equation that enters my brain.

Two years of hell IB has put me through ... all epitomized in these three weeks. I have become an efficient knowledge machine, which knows no limits, no pain, no fear and no failure.

I only ate regularly so I wouldn't fall sick, I only communicated with the outside world if it benefited my exams, studying was the only way I could function now .... I am a lean, mean, thinking machine.

You think you've suffered in your course? Each of you here feels the agony, but none of you, not one, suffers as much as I do. (This is a line from Oedipus the King, which I read and analyzed for 48 hours.) None of you have suffered, until you have come under the wrath of IB.

But it's coming to an end. In three days, it will all come to an end. In three days, I will be free from all this madness, no longer a victim of jokes like, "IB schools have signs to warn parents that kids will throw themselves in front of their cars." or "I would kill myself, but I don't have the time for it." No more ... I say. It ends here. Soon. In three days.

I will be free. IB will no longer live my life for me. And I ... will ... be .... free.

Some day people will ask me the story of my life. They will ask me, how did you do it? And I will tell them this story of my meaningless existence in the face of a cruel, uncaring God: the IB program.