Threadbare.

Oh my God. I finally have time to blog. Been so busy packing, worrying and groaning for two whole days they all seem the same to me now. When I start to pack, I start to do all those at the same time.

Life sucks when you only get 20kg of it. Stupid airlines.

***

I finished reading Picture of Dorian Gray recently, and I absolutely loved the book. Going up there with all my favorite books (Lolita, The Stranger, The Catcher in the Rye and The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao). Its capacity for evil and depravity, hand-in-hand with the beauty of life as an art, the worship of that co-existence...

I think I just have a thing for evil.

I have so many favorite quotes from the book that I dog-earred the pages. When have I ever dog-earred anything in my life. Here are some:

"The one charm of the past is that it is the past. But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over they propose to continue it."

"There were moments when he (Dorian Gray) looked on evil simply as a mode through which he could realize his conception of the beautiful."

"That awful thing, a woman's memory!" 

"In her dealings with man Destiny never closed her accounts."

Aww... makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Until recently I have never been able to decide if the past hinders or helps, but I have now.

Fuck the past. I've seen people desperately (pathetically) clinging on to the bare threads of their past, using their history as strength, when it is worth as much as the person usually is now: nothing.

It's weakness, in its blindest form. I've seen these people - friends, I would call them even - wanting all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons, just because they can't see what's going to happen tomorrow, let alone today.

These people are weak, and they disgust me.

I use the past to my advantage in my own way as much as the next person, but bitch, please. I say future, is the way to go. The only place the past would serve any purpose is in a CV or a History class.

***

I leave KL tonight. Worrying whether carrying my heels in my handcarry would count as "sharp objects" and if my thirty pairs of fake lashes will be taken away, lest they think I'm trying to sell them illegally to trannies in America.

Paranoia is a gift.

Will blog again later!