Why Google Chrome sucks

Go ahead. Click it. If the bright pink splotches aren't already beseeching you.

That thing you see before you, my dear readers, is THE CURRENT STATE OF MY FACEBOOK. In Google Chrome!!! HOW?!?

I tried it in IE and Firefox it's fine! I wanted to think twice before putting Why Google Chrome Sucks as my title, but even if this is not due to Google Chrome, it still sucks for various reasons, so I'm good.

Is anyone else having this problem too? (And yes my Facebook is in Spanish.) (And no, it is not okay for you to add me if you don't know me.)

List of things to do after IB fucking exams

1. Read for leisure again. I don't want to have to write an essay about what I read, unless I feel like it.

2. Go on a Disney movie marathon. Watching them and listening to their songs as an adult is so different! Case in point I am currently having a crush on Shang from Mulan.

3. Actually get into bed, pull covers over body and fall asleep normally ... instead of face-flat on my keyboard. Which is what I do three out of seven nights in a week.

4. Hang out with friends without thinking about the work awaiting me at home. Let me eat my burger in peace, Calculus.

5. Ditto with shopping, though I don't get distracted as much during this activity. Heh.

6. Mope about real problems, like my country's backward mindset that hinders progress or the stock market or something, not how I don't remember how to differentiate trigonometry.

7. Sit in Coffee Bean/Starbucks/any cafe just for the sole enjoyment of coffee and company, without books and notes in front of me.

8. Watch a full football match without using the halftime to cram some Biology notes.

9. Spend more time with family.

10. Drive more.

11. Go to the gym!

12. Start writing again.

13. Sit my ass in front of Facebook for two whole hours and not have my conscience harp on me about how I am going to hell.

14. Travel! Go on a holiday! I WILL BE FREE LIKE THE BIRD!

15. Just relax, seriously. One whole day of nothing but relaxing.

16. Play boardgames in Coffee Bean in Mont Kiara like I enviously watched this bunch of people play on Saturday as me and my friends studied our ass off on the other table. I swore then that I will go back to that same Coffee Bean shop and play board games there too.

17. Live.

18. Drink.

19. Eat.

20. Laugh.

Ahh omg I can't wait already. One week to go before the exams start. The final push! And then May 19 will come. The day I will finally be free. After two years of servitude and suppression, I will finally be free.

Hello! My name is Gertrude and I like pencils.

Meet Vladimir!

Although it's been a month since I bought it ... hey guys meet my new laptop!

(That is a picture of someone having goitre, yes.)

It's the pink Toshiba Portégé M900! I'm like the mother who doesn't know which photos to post of my baby hence I put them up all.


I have decided to name him Vladimir, after my three favorite people in the world. Yes it's a Russian laptop. Do not question it on its gender please, this is a very sensitive issue for both of us. He's a boy.

(You would think pink meant it's a girl but if you think about it what else is pink but very masculine ...? Penis, exactly.)

I'm using a wallpaper that changes every ten seconds so this is not my wallpaper, btw.

Case in point.

Any comments cleverly pointing out my laptop is a portable phallic symbol or an extension of the penis I never had ... are welcomed.

Anyway the main reason I'm posting my laptop photos now is that ... I'm taking it away from me. Yes, I am BANISHING Vladimir.

My IB exams are coming in two weeks and free access to internet has been a distraction the size of China. Hence I'm taking my laptop away from 3pm onwards, only allowing me access to it from 8am to 3pm - my school hours. Yes I know I'm about to embark on a journey that many may consider "unthinkable" or "ludicrous" or "simply unfeasible" ... but I must be strong.

Wish me luck you guys, as hard as parting with my pseudo-Russian laptop will be. Especially when it's so beautiful and pink and phallic.

So many reasons, so little truths.

So, I'm not exactly the most moral person in the world. But what I've learned about my very politically incorrect life is that ... people like to come to me when they feel like shit. I swear, I'm like the Gautama Buddha of depravity or something. They come to me for solace.

I'm not the girl that everyone likes, or approves of, but I'm the girl that those same people will turn to when they've done something wrong, because they know I've probably done worse. They know I won't judge, they know I'll tell them something worse ("Oh, you slept with your best friend? I slept with my best friend ... and his brother." - just an example, not saying I have ... or haven't.) that will make you feel better about yourself, and ... well they know I won't judge ... unlike they did to me, from their high moral ground. Funny how things turn out.

(Everyone has these corrupted tendencies. Some just hide/repress it better than the others. We're all the same underneath.)

Obviously I'm not much of a represser. I say things the way they should be said.

So I was talking to Debra, and God knows I'm even more NOT of a represser with her, and I stated some reasons for wanting to sleep with a guy with her. Knowing me, my reasons were very blunt and crude. ("It's been a while since I've done Asians." - just an example. Not saying I said that ... or did not.)

But okay, let's take that reason. Someone wanting to fuck another person for their nationality/race ... naturally people would cringe at that, and go, what's wrong with her omg she's so sick and twisted. But, really, if you think about it (and Debra pointed this out), that's actually a more valid reason than a lot of the reasons out there. For example, "I love you" is not a valid reason to fuck. "We are dating." is not a valid reason to fuck.

And truth is, we all think about the little reasons like that. We could be fucking guys because of their jobs, their status, their wallet size, because you like their accent, because you have a preference for a certain race ... or the most common one of all, because they're good-looking (ah now can you identify?). But we think reasons like that are so shallow or incorrect that we don't usually say them out loud ... resulting in them being even more shallow/incorrect. I for one find it okay if a guy just wants to sleep with me because I'm Asian or a writer or likes dogs or something ... if more people would be honest about their intentions, it would create an environment where it's actually okay to say things like that.

So anyway, here are some valid and not so valid reasons to be sleeping with someone:

Valid: I haven't had sex in ages.

Not valid: I really care about you.

Valid: I am horny.

Not valid: You're special to me.

Not valid: I've never felt this way about anyone before. I love spending time with you, you are such an awesome person, you're so funny, smart and cute ... I'm so in love with your personality.

Valid: The girl/guy has a hot body.

Not valid: If you trust me, you will. (Omg all these stupid tricks to get girls into bed ... stupid.)

Valid: I like ... feet. (Maybe some people have foot fetish?)

Valid: Trying something new. (Samantha Jones calls it "trysexual" ... she'll try everything once.)

Not valid: I love you.

Valid: Wanting variety in life.

Not valid: I love you.

Valid: THERE DOESN'T NEED TO BE A REASON TO WANT SEX.

Not valid: I love you.

The last one, credited to the genius that is Debra Wei. She uses my name as a verb/noun/adjective now, like:

"I'm going to MAYZHEE this."

"Be a MAYZHEE."

"Pull a mayzhee!"

"That's so mayzhee."

I swear we actually do talk like that ... in reference to how I would do things if I were in the same situation as them.

Stuck with a boyfriend you don't have feelings for anymore? Feel like you're holding on just for the sake of comfort, when sometimes you harbor feelings of going out and getting to know other people? Feel like you don't know what to do ... that you might hurt your guy's feelings if you break up, and that you might be a bitch for having casual relations?

NO! Be a mayzhee! Set it straight to him. You don't want commitment! You're not ready to be tied down! You want single life! BREAK FREE! You don't wanna do what's right, you want to do what you WANT! You want to be happy! And then you go out, and you chat up EVERY GUY YOU FIND CUTE and embrace singledom like you've never before.

And that ... my friend, is how you be a mayzhee. Enjoy :)

Comfort zones.

Before I mentioned of something new coming ... well, now's the time to reveal what it is!!

It's going to be a whole, new ... May Zhee. Allow me to be elaborate.

As you might have seen on my Twitter, I will be attending University of Rochester, and it's already going so well even before it has all started! I am given the full tuition scholarship, they'll discount my flight tickets for my campus visits and they even selected me for a portable research grant, which is 3000 US Dollars worth of money given for any learning purposes beyond the classroom. I've applied for me to do a "Travelogue to Rochester" kind of thing, where I will travel by all modes of land and sea instead of the conventional air (so the famed train travel across Europe to a NAVY SHIP across the Atlantic to a UNICYCLE across America maybe???) from Malaysia to Rochester and I will record down my travels.

It will reflect my metaphorical journey and personal growth as a person ... and I have my blog as my credentials. My English teacher (only the coolest thing ever since Coke head holders) actually thought about it for me because he thought of my blog and we've worked together on the topic of American travel novels (think On the Road, Catcher in the Rye, Lolita, Grapes of Wrath, etc).

If I can take a photo of my face now it will say AWESOME. Plus I've always believed that after school was done, I should be accountable for my own expenses, even college fees, so the scholarship is great. I'm saving close to half a million for four years of college, and I rather use that money to start a business, or travel, or to come back and visit my family more often.

I know I should be sad that my Ivies rejected me, but really I'm just too egoistical to let colleges tell me whether I'm smart or not.

I think it's mainly because I'm such a different person than I was a year ago. The big difference now is that I'm actually comfortable with myself now ... I'm not trying to fit in, I'm not insecure about my abilities, about who I am and who I will be. I like who I am now, and even if it means not being Ivy material, well I guess that's just something I'll have to live with (and try again for grad school HAHA. No not giving up just yet).

I really did want to attend an Ivy of course, and don't be mistaken, it would have been great. I still think Ivies are the best schools on earth, but as the months went on, I realized if I didn't get accepted, it would be fine. I didn't care that much anymore where I went to school. I believe you make your own opportunities, and I know I can do well wherever I go. Just give me the resources, and on that ground I will build my success.

I also think reading the best books, watching the best movies and eating the best food will provide you with all the lessons you need in your life ... but that's story for another day.

But I'm really done trying to fit in, trying to make people see me as smart or better than others, always trying to prove something to people who didn't matter ... I'm done. I'm just going to be who I am, that loud-mouthed, narcissistic and slightly comical bitch everyone takes time to love.

So how does that relate to what I called something new on my blog? Well, you're going to be seeing that new May Zhee more often. If you've noticed I haven't been blogging a lot recently (for months now), it was because I was still trying to figure out who I was, where I stood and I wanted to be careful about how I was portraying myself. I'm still confused of course, and I believe I will never know myself, not completely ... but I'm a little closer than I was before. People are not meant to find themselves, they should never, and ultimately it's the search that matters ... hence my journey, hence my travelogue to Rochester idea is awesome. :D

It's really not a big difference from the old May Zhee. I'm still as blunt as before, still vain, still that confident motherfucker ... but I definitely feel the difference. Also now that I'm about to graduate and finally, finally free from any association with a school, and approaching the age of 20 (far far away from the adolescence years) I can write whatever shit I want now!!

That's me, on Saturday night. I was out, drunk (understatement. I was smashed) and happy and free. (I was revived to the dance floor by Lady Gaga, true story. I always have to dance to Lady Gaga when it comes on. Always.) I love life, and the way I am - and everything in between.

So this is me. I am May Zhee, and I like good books, John Mayer, Russian history and beautiful people. Welcome to my blog!

I look like this now.

Yes, I look like a model now. Just thought I'd remind you all how I look like (which is like a model), since I haven't posted photos in a while. So here's a recent picture of me (looking like a model). The normal-looking peasant next to me? Oh that's just ... my ... jester. Yes that's my jester. She entertains me when I'm bored. Sometimes she juggles plates, sometimes she complains about men, sometimes she juggles plates WHILE complaining about men (that's my favorite ... as a model).

Okay, toodles, signing off now! (Like a model.)

If anyone asks, I'm the one on the RIGHT by the way.

PS - In case no one gets it, this is a joke. I do not look like a model (feel free to disagree :D) and I don't think looking like a model is the best thing in the world. I'm more a mascot person actually. So really, my dream, is to look like this.

Ten things we really don't need in this world

1. Hair on anywhere else other than the head

What is underarm hair for anyway?! To keep my underarms warm? Yeah no thanks God if I had needed something to warm that area I would buy a Cotton On cardigan! (I got one for RM15 that day. Good stuff.)

And don't even get me started about hair elsewhere. Hair on the GENITAL AREA? I'm pretty sure we can keep ourselves warm there on our own efforts. If you say Brazilian wax is to train women pain tolerance and toughen us up while you men go out and hunt (don't you dare say that) ... isn't that what labor is for?

2. Acne/pimples

What scientific purpose can they possibly serve? WHAT?

3. Cancer

It's not something you contract, or want, or need, or deserve ... sometimes you're just born with the gene, hidden, dormant, just waiting to kill you one day. And how fucking unfair is that!

"I am Jack's bowel. I have cancer. I kill Jack." - Fight Club

4. Drunk drivers

Nothing worse than putting other people's lives in danger. Feel free to be an idiot and kill yourself though.

5. That song "According to You" by Orianthi

I'm sorry but how pointless is this song?! The lyrics are so clichéd, the melody is common and the singer is BLONDE. Another one!

6. How To Raise And Keep A Dragon handbook

Stupid. Don't they know dragons only exist in Mongolia.

7. Zebra crossings in Malaysia.

And lanes. And road signs. And traffic lights. And signals on cars.

8. American Pie: The Book of Love

It's an American Pie movie about ... love. No joke. It's an American Pie movie about love. Do I watch The Godfather to get lessons on cooking? Do I watch House Bunny to get lessons on life? (No.) Then I most certainly did not watch an American Pie movie to learn about love. When I want to watch a movie about sex, YOU GIVE ME A MOVIE ABOUT SEX.

9. Products with the slightest variation and is given a whole new image like PEPSI TWIST or COCA COLA LEMON or MRS PACMAN.

10. Anymore religions of peace.

Yeah, sure.