I'm getting a lot more sleep than I did during school, yet I still feel the same level of shittiness as I did back then, and I still complain a lot. In fact, I probably complain more. I guess the more you're given, the more you want.
I am feeling shitty, so no happy postings. I just had my own death wish stare me in the face, and it was narrating to me, for seven minutes, why I can't do anything about it. Why I stayed for so long. Why everything was so hard. Why things will never be the same again. I hate feeling helpless, that's the one feeling I'd like to not have, because it's all illusory, and you're never really helpless, but once you think you are, there's no getting out of it. And I can't get out of this one, not tonight. It's staying for good.
You're never supposed to be with the one you're supposed to. You never like the one you're supposed to. Life just sucks from then on.
I was not happy. Why do I constantly toy with the line between pain and pleasure. I couldn't look away. It would have been equally painful.
"What is this blog about?"
"Absolutely nothing."
6 comments:
i'm feeling awfully the same. good news? you aren't alone.
whoa! what happend to 'America is just so great i will lick everyone's balls all the way'.
Finally realised u r not thing but just a chinky face?
Generally Americans dont think much of Chinese u know, except they are like viruses, multiplying at alarming rate, stinking public toilets all around the world and completely soulless people who are only greedy for money and fear for ghosts. Chinese hv no respect for humanity and Americans think they are the epitome of humanity.
So either you stop moaning and whining and step up to change the preconceptions to a few or bite ur lips till it bleeds coz hey, you come back to Malaysia and start gloating about ur US degree.
whoa! what happend to 'America is just so great i will lick everyone's balls all the way'.
Finally realised u r not thing but just a chinky face?
Generally Americans dont think much of Chinese u know, except they are like viruses, multiplying at alarming rate, stinking public toilets all around the world and completely soulless people who are only greedy for money and fear for ghosts. Chinese hv no respect for humanity and Americans think they are the epitome of humanity.
So either you stop moaning and whining and step up to change the preconceptions to a few or bite ur lips till it bleeds coz hey, you come back to Malaysia and start gloating about ur US degree.
Maybe Mayzhee, time to get some plastic enhancements like ur freakish friend Dawn Yang. Maybe Mayzhee, then the faggots in america will notice ur implanted boobs and newly bleached face. Freak likes freak.
Just focus on the words, let them heal you. But what do I know.....
weelim still has a hold on your heart.
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