Thursday, October 20, 2011

Everything I'm about to write is fictional. Entirely fictional. So I assume zero responsibility for all the statements hereafter.

He asked me why we were normal, and I gave him an explanation that made sense to me. That it's feelings, I guess, but I don't know if it's really feelings. It should be. Me not being okay with involving other people in our sexual relations. As much as I want to move away from an unconventional relationship, a part of me moves closer. It's as if I like and don't like it at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I express jealousy about you and other girls just for the sake of it, when I'm not really jealous underneath, but an impulse calls for it. Do you understand? You're just unfortunate, I guess. I feel like you were just pigeonholed into this position in my mind.

Yeah, I guess it only made sense to me.

People like to say, "It's because you actually like him." You can almost see their face contort in the manner if they were to say the statement in slow motion. It's because you actually like him. It just sounds too convenient to me. Poor guy. Maybe if I didn't. actually. like. him that much, he'd have the wildest manifestations of his fantasies fulfilled.

He thinks it's companionship that we're together. I don't know what it is, so I'll just agree with him.

21 comments:

Punk Chopsticks said...

Well if you stick with him long enough, you'll probably learn the reason and a bit about yourself.

But personally, I don't think I have any right to comment. This post is upside down, I don't know where you start and where you end. I think I'm grasping at straws here

Peter Sanderson said...

Chill, sis. =)

Anonymous said...

I'm just curious to know why you use Library Thing and not Good Reads. (:

Anonymous said...

get a reality check

d00dg said...

you're grafting teflon blanket over your heart and mind. for that, you shall not know truth.

Anonymous said...

I am Jake's little brother... still wondering if you remember him.. but anyways, I am in the exact same situation.. just chill :)

Anonymous said...

when r u gonna update the world about your sex life

Anonymous said...

in graphics?

Nina said...

i kinda miss your witty posts... hope u find time to write again soon.

d00d said...

she's not writing cuz she's having uninterrupted sessions

d00d said...

hey skinny peach have u been dead or what! or in orgasmic stupor!

Gabrielle said...

MayZee where are you matie???
Miss ya

m. ng said...

update, soon? :(

Leonard said...

u nids to get urself a shrink gal, u sound all so messed up bad

d00d said...

It's hard here definitely. Now, get down on the floor, no Freudian slips there, just you and me.

Anonymous said...

mayzhee, please do write again! i miss your posts!

hope you are doing better!

Caely said...

It's been so long since your last post! Why aren't you writing anymore? :( Wishing you well! :)

d00d said...

pubic hairs are turn-ons, why wud u want em removed beats me.

d00d said...

Disillusioned is to die a little - one step at a time..

d00d said...

Oh no, you don't know what it takes to be good. And all the time. You have no idea at all babe..

d00d said...

..a definition which is irrelevant as that is only as far as you can see now.