I have successfully condensed two separate interviews (both an hour long) into two one-paged documents full of personal insights, informative tidbits and hopefully inspirational elements leaping out of the paragraphs. And now life has become way too exciting for sleep. I always do this to myself. I am the calmest on nights that I realize it is just me and the cool tarmac roads outside. The single lamp post that lights up an entire street. A whiff of the gentle night breeze.
Maybe it's insomnia, maybe it's the caffeine, maybe it's all the activity going on in my head for the past few hours. I have no desire to sleep and wake up to a busy world of calls, e-mails, Facebook and chat notifications. The night is my utopia away from real world, responsibilities and negative emotions. It's not like I am positively overjoyed right now or anything, but I've never really enjoyed strong emotions anyway. They set up too great of expectations for me. I prefer moments like this, rare, rare moments of peace and calm in my life. The sound of the ceiling fan going at full strength. The sound of my fingers on the keyboard. The sound of what appears to be someone knocking on the wall, probably because of the crappy ass ceiling fan, probably tells me I should go reduce the intensity of the fan. And so I did.
I still carry my worries into the night, but they become quieter and more mellow. When everyone else around you is asleep, it becomes much easier to not care. "Day May Zhee" looks like a caricature to "4am May Zhee" - forever anxious and impulsive.
And then slowly, the caffeine wears off, and overdue fatigue sets in. By then, you're ready for bed. You've had enough. It's time to gear up for the real world again.
4 hours is the most amount of sleep I am guessing I will get. Bright and early tomorrow, bright and early...
Maybe it's insomnia, maybe it's the caffeine, maybe it's all the activity going on in my head for the past few hours. I have no desire to sleep and wake up to a busy world of calls, e-mails, Facebook and chat notifications. The night is my utopia away from real world, responsibilities and negative emotions. It's not like I am positively overjoyed right now or anything, but I've never really enjoyed strong emotions anyway. They set up too great of expectations for me. I prefer moments like this, rare, rare moments of peace and calm in my life. The sound of the ceiling fan going at full strength. The sound of my fingers on the keyboard. The sound of what appears to be someone knocking on the wall, probably because of the crappy ass ceiling fan, probably tells me I should go reduce the intensity of the fan. And so I did.
I still carry my worries into the night, but they become quieter and more mellow. When everyone else around you is asleep, it becomes much easier to not care. "Day May Zhee" looks like a caricature to "4am May Zhee" - forever anxious and impulsive.
And then slowly, the caffeine wears off, and overdue fatigue sets in. By then, you're ready for bed. You've had enough. It's time to gear up for the real world again.
4 hours is the most amount of sleep I am guessing I will get. Bright and early tomorrow, bright and early...
1 comment:
What a total waste. Some Asian chick going to some white-ass ivory tower eating lots of white shit. And not knowing it, thinking it's gourmet cooking... because it's foreign? *shrugs..ahahahahaha
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